Let me be your moon
by purplecow04
Summary: Reela Ray decideds to right Neela a letter its better than it sounds... I hope
1. Chapter 1

**Let me be your moon!**

**Ray decides to write Neela a letter**

**Hey Hey! Heres an idea that's been brewing for a while let me know what you think!**

_Neela……_

_I really wanted to tell you this to your face but these days I find it so hard to get close to you, a and any time I do get the chance to be near you I choke on my words. I don't really know where to start, I guess I should really start at the beginning, but if I'm honest with you I don't have a clue when that was. I think I'm just gonna have to some out with it, I hope this sounds right and it describes the true depth of my feelings._

_So her it is…_

_I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you with every fibre of my being, I think deep down I've always loved you and I've always known it, but I didn't realise it straight off it just kind crept up on me. By the time you married Michael I knew it, my heart broke for the first time that day. But then, he went away and me and you we got closer than ever before, and my feelings grew stronger, I loved you so much it hurt, and suddenly I was feeling that maybe there was something between us… maybe you felt something to. But then you walked away left me all alone and it was like you'd ripped my heart out and taken it away with you in the back of that cab. I'm not ashamed to say I cried that night. I cried for the first time since I was 8. I meant what I said that night, You were my best friend, but you were so much more._

_So life continued, but it was so different it felt so bland and empty; life wasn't worth living without you. And you barely acknowledged me… It was so hard, I Loved you but I hated you to! I'm sure you realised what you were doing to me, could you not see the pain in my eyes, everyone else did even Morris! And when has Morris ever noticed anything about anyone's feelings!_

_And then it happened, seeing you break brought tears to my eyes it was like being stabbed through the heart, seeing your pain was to much to handle. I tried to help you but you pushed me away all I wanted to do was hold you and make your pain go away keep you safe. I rang so many times! Could you not of talked to me just once, just to let me know you were ok._

_I thought to myself to give you time, I know you loved Michael and I knew it would take time for you to get over. Well so I thought, but apparently not! No you moved on pretty quick didn't you. It to a snug little relationship with GATES! You don't understand how much I want to punch that guy!_

_How could you be so cold hearted just to push me aside and completely block me out! I thought you at least valued my friendship to let me help you just a bit but apparently not!_

_I don't know what else to say. Although this letter is short its taken me over a week to write. And you know what I doubt you will ever even see this…. It was just some thing I had to write._

_I will always love you. No matter how many times you hurt me. _

_I'm yours forever._

_Your Roomie._

**Ray placed the letter in an envelope with her name on with no really intention of ever giving it to her. In the envelope he also added a small sheet of paper with a small quote upon it from his latest song.**

"_Let me be you moon and guide you through your darkest hours"_

"_Let me be your sun and brighten up you gloomy days"_

**He grabbed the envelope looking at the clock realising that he was running late for work grabbed the envelope and for some reason stuffed it in his bag as he ran out the door.**

**Ray arrived late as predicted and rushed into the locker room, colliding with a shocked Morris as he did, spilling the contence of his bag on the floor, quickly he gathered up his things but leaving a small white envelope on the floor……**

**TO BE CONTINUED **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN. So yeah it took me forever to update! Sorry about that I was working full time through my summer holidays! Then being back at collage just took up all my time! But I'm back on track now! Hopefully the next few chapters will arrive a lil quicker! **

Neela entered the locker room almost bumping into someone on there way out. "Sorry!" she said looking up into the face of… Ray!

"Its alright" he said giving her a small smile, although she noticed although his lips portrayed a smile it didn't extend to his eyes.

"Hey Neela?" he said throwing caution to the wind "errm it seems we haven't spoke for ages… You fancy getting a coffee or….. Something?" Neela looked down taking a sudden interest in her shoes.

She chanced a quick glance into his eyes, and saw the melancholy. It upset her so much to see him like that, but what could she do, she daren't take a chance on him. She couldn't risk losing him it would kill her. It wasn't that she didn't believe he felt something for her… but she knew Ray, he had a new girl every week. He didn't really love her, he just wanted something he couldn't have and as soon as he'd got her. He'd get bored and drop her for some blonde bimbo with a big smile and even bigger boobs! No she couldn't risk that. It would hurt her more than Michaels death ever did. Thinking that made her feel guilty, another reason why she could never be with ray! She had been dreaming about him the moment her husband died, and she dreamed about him that night after she'd found out! How sick was that she just found out her husband was dead and she was dreaming about another man! It consumed her with guilt! Michael was such a great guy... He was perfect…..so why didn't she love him like she loved Ray? Who was so far from perfect. But maybe that was it! He had so many faults, but they made him into the guy she loved!

Neela suddenly realised that she'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't replied to Ray. She could his gaze burning into her she had to reply……

Ray watched her carefully, seeing so much sadness in her eyes it broke his heart to see her like that, but there was nothing he could do she'd decided to push him out her life! And that was fine by him! Who was he kidding it wasn't fine it wasn't fine at all it was far from fine, he never knew love could be so unfine, god that wasn't even a word! In all those soppy chick flicks she'd made him watch it was always something really amazing that made everyone smile! Ok so they all had there little "dramas" But there was always a happy ending. With Neela, he was certain there would never be a happy ending; she just didn't feel for him what he felt for her.

Ray realised he'd just been staring at her; he wasn't sure for how long. It was always easy to loose track of time when looking at her.

"errrm Ray" she said softly "I don't know I've got a lot on, I've not really got time to….. Well you understand what it's like working in a hospital…."

"Hey Mayday! We still on for to night?" Tony Gates interrupted giving Neela a quick wink as he walked dashed past with a trauma. Neela turned away from Ray not wanting to see the look she knew he'd be giving her.

"Oh I understand" He said his voice deadpan not wanting to hide the pain he was feeling with in. "I understand perfectly" And with that he barged past her and walked away as quickly as possible, wiping the tears away from his eyes as they did, hoping no one would see, and he wouldn't have given away his feelings.

Neela sighed and carried on to the locker room. Abby stood at Admit and shook her head, she had just witnessed the little moment between her two friends and it had just confirmed to her, what she already knew. That they were both stupid fools, who were madly in love but not prepared to do anything about it! She knew if just one of them admitted how they felt it would all come out.

Once safely inside the locker room Neela let the tears ran down her cheeks. Why? Why did she have to make such a bloody mess of everything! She closed her eyes and slumped to the floor. She sat there silently for a few moments just letting all her pain overwhelm her, and then she collected herself together and put back on her calm sensible Neela persona. As she was getting up she noticed a small white envelope on the floor, as she picked it up she noticed her name on the envelope in.. it couldn't be… Rays handwriting?

**Well there you go! Not much action in this one just a few thoughts and feelings. Please R&R all opinions are appreciated! The more the better! (hint hint!) hehe!**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Amy**

**XxX**


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